"Stop all love, all feeling for Mummy, allow a complete death or I shall go mad" (200). At this point, Julia has realized the damaging effects of her relationship with her mother. This passage is in Julia's notebook under a to do list. Based on the connotation of the words, Julia still loves her mother. If she says she has to stop loving her mother, she obviously still does love her.
Later, Julia finds that she can't live without her mother. She says " I just feel so lost... I must come back" (200). She couldn't overcome the feelings she has for her mother. Even though her mother has never had any conventional love for Julia, Julia still feels mother- daughter bonds.
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