The Three of Us post 3

"It seemed like a good joke at the time" (154). Julia Blackburn, the author of the memoir The Three of Us, describes her reaction to a comment that Binky, one of Rosalie's friends, made referring to both mothers' sexual adventures chasing younger men. At the time, Julia finds this comment funny and amusing. When Julia goes for a swim with Binky's eldest son, she finds out how badly this boy has been damaged psychologically by his mother's behavior. Binky's sexual recklessness has included a sexual relationship with her adolescent son during a drunken evening. He says " I can't touch any woman because I ****ed my own mother, one night when we were both too drunk to care" (154). Her son will now carry the burden that he had an incestuous relationship with his mother.

In one sense, this echos the theme of abandonment because the mother, who bore him, should have taught him right from wrong. Binky had drawn him into a sexual relationship which is taboo in all cultures around the world. Julia realizes how psychologically damaged he is by this encounter. The reader gets the sense that Julia may be damaged by her relationship with her mother based on how damaged Binky's son is.

The Three of Us post 2

Another theme developed in this book is jealousy. When Julia is grown up, her mother tells her that she both loved her as a mother yet hated her because she was jealous of Julia. She says " she had always hated me, as well as loving me of course" (53). She says " I hated you because you're father stopped sleeping with me when you were born, and then I hated you because he had his mistress and would stay out all night and I was stuck at home. I hated you because he was kind to you even when he was being horrible to me... and I hated you because you went on seeing him" (53-54)

Julia's mother only loved Julia because she was her offspring. She could think of no reason other than that to love Julia. For Rosalie, Julia brought more unhappiness than she did happiness. The birth of Julia was the figurative end of Rosalie's life.


Blackburn, Julia. The Three of Us. New York: Random House, 2008.

The Three of Us post 1

The memoir The Three of Us by Julia Blackburn describes the author's life while growing up. We follow the author through her childhood and teen years, along with her parents, Thomas Blackburn and Rosalie de Meric. The main theme in this memoir is addiction. Her father, Thomas, is an alcoholic and a narcotic addict (55). Rosalie is addicted to sex and attention (62). As an adult, Julia comes to understand that these addictions are the result of each parents' deep need to find comfort and security. These addictions provide an emotional crutch to help them through each day. Julia's parents each suffered at the hands of their abusive parents. These addictions are a way to medicate themselves against the pain.

Julia's parents seem unaware that the pain and drama that they inflict on Julia is similarly painful. Because Julia's parents are so involved in their own pain, they seem unaware of the pain that they unconsciously inflict on Julia. Julia grows up thinking that her parents behavior is normal but as she grows older, she sees that their behavior is unorthodox.

Blackburn, Julia. The Three of Us. New York: Random House, 2008.